Waves

             Always

Ocean sounds

           When you rest

On my chest

In History

From far away

A river under a stone

Is hidden

In my own depths

In this coursing blood

A voice calls out to me

Calling out to those

From the beginning

Struggling to remember

When the past

Flowed violently away

To recall

And to avoid repeating 

The path to mistakes

To destroy where it led

To clean a history

I've never known

Identity

Terror of self
To be cased
Buried alive
Safe to be dead
Safe to be selfless
In sickness than in health
Silent or gagged
Poignant tongue wordless
Smith with no tool
Dinner of a fool
Given to a shelf
Terror of self
Unmoving and boxed
Given to trace
A map of the world
With spit and nail
Chained to an identity
That won't identify
Love when it seeds
Pain when it bleeds
Clueless consciousness
Minimal mettle
Terror of terror
And a natural disaster
Waiting to occur

Under Weeping Lights

Under the weeping lights
On holy temple grounds
I meditate to float from pain
I worship death to live
And I sleep on a bed of vapour
On the edge of a cloud
Where a silent pool
Mirrors the stars
And draws red lights on its surface
In sleep, I too draw my strength
I too know my strength
Gathered from the wind
Where my voice is echoed
In every swaying tree
And even then
You can feel each leaf whisper
In my soft tones
My roar in the bark
And each flower calling
With the sweet fragrance
Of my sorrow

A Dying Future

Reality is a curse
And words are scarce
When the city turns
On its own head
Spinning to oblivion 
Its fragments raining 
And those of us
Who will stay
Will build castles
From the rubble 
As if to find ways 
To ascend
Beyond ourselves 
Beyond fantasy
With this young deed
Dead as when we began
But with little cause
Not to live to the fullest 
And continue our dream 
Ascending the stars
Ascending the stairs to immortality 
Since within our pain
We are awakened
We won't let the future die
Anymore

Soar Peace, Sing Mind

For my peace of mind
Harmonies escape my lips
I dream of melodies daily
I long to sing
For peace of mind
I watch birds taking wing
I too long to soar
I too long to sing

Green lights cover me
Where the sun refuses to be
My words chase the light
I hide behind their insight
Under twisted trees
Fashioned into guitars
I too sing to soar
I will sing and soar

Black keys on white
I balance out the night
With thoughtful rhymes
And I forget to breathe
When each lyric means 
One less to write
One less night to sing
To soar and take wing

The Bride, Laughing

When all the rice falls
Light showers
All over our heads
Where will you be standing?

Are you the bride
Are you the bitter maid
Or perhaps the happy one
When we run away, laughing?

Whose hand am I holding
Who flies beside me
Wearing the silky wind
Is it you Ophelia?

Under the rain
Of blue and white flowers
Are you the one
Soaking me with love, laughing?

Run with me forever
Were you ever the maid
Did the piano speak true
When you came down to me?

A moment to forever
Will I remember it all?
Every part true
You were always the bride, laughing

Slow Invasion

I was there
 I saw it
The plunge
It was real
There on the surface
A knife was floating
It was next to me
It was real

CHORUS
On my arms
A map was drawn on my arms
It looked like the roots of a tree
Growing from my heart
And my heart beat faster
I felt the blood in my veins
Tracing your path
Your slow invasion

You were there
I swear I saw you
You lived in your own world
You lived in now
This cloud clouds my judgement
But I feel the plunge
You are standing next to me
You are real

I don't have to look for you
I see you
No I feel you
You are in my veins
Out of sight
Right where you are
Eternal ghost
And yes you are real

 Apr 12, 2014 5:25:35 AM

The Blind Ones

In full view of the world
My eye blooms
And my hands reach the moon
And I write more songs
In this dream I'm a shadow
Finally I am seen
Silhouette or not
I am inheriting this world
And the voices calling out to the sky
All around me in ecstasy
See me but have never seen me
They feel me but they are blind
Blind to everything around them
They live but they are dead
They worship and they dream
But they forget who they are
How easy for them it seems
To get swallowed by the tide
Just as it's easy for me
To go against the current
And in full view of the world
I get to the other side
And I'm silent and I'm calm
My palms have no sweat
My heartbeat is an even drum
Even as I march towards death
And I find rhythm in my words
This pulse of my actions
And call out in the trees
I still see the universe in front of me
How can I not know
These rivers in me
Have lived since time began
That all I am is blood and spirit
Temporary yet eternal
That I'm here now and can see
The true face of the world
And will keep showing them
The blind ones reaching out
Who will never have these eyes

Predicament

I think life is constructed like a joke... I have been a reader of various Zen writings and they all seem to say one thing: most known truths are paradox. Im saying like a joke because its funny how life is like that: paradox. It is also strange and conflicting half the time.

I'm in a predicament. You see, life has been kind and I found chances with several things I have been chasing. So it is kind of good right now. But...do not underestimate the power of feelings and want as well as need. Once you get what you want, you are hit with realities.

One: you have no idea how to proceed. Mostly you go with the flow and let it grow. But sometimes it is not that simple. Be it your business life and your relationships you need to be cautious. You need to step outside and see where you are and where you are going. Or do you? You see, thats how I wired myself, chained myself. I know what I am like see, I know how people react to me and my work. My feelings are always involved and my opinions are not normally subject to personal review. So in this caution I basically protect the world from myself. But the world does not know that.

I fear few things in life. I do not fear business or relationships...I just fear myself and my actions within those areas. I give so much that I end up feeling worthless and so decide to give little to achieve more. I feel so much that I fear to push away what I want. So I keep the emotion in check and though I move with effort...I move and protect.

So i'm in a predicament. They need me to show them everything to take me to the next level. They want me to give everything. She needs me to show it all to take us to the next level. But won't that drive it all away? Won't I scare her from me? I want it all to work out so bad. But I am scared of me. I am worried. My emotions are shouting. I know that I have already chosen to give all. But it scares me. I am naked. Nowere left to hide.

But I know I have decided. I'm going with the tide, not against it. It was always easier anyway - to be the river itself and not the fish. To let myself be...whatever the outcome.

Sigh. And so the tale begins...

Lacrimae Rerum

To put silence in words
Requires a sound
And to paint death
Requires a colour
Nothing exists in words
Or in colour
Our imagination
Became our eyes

To speak of life
Is to speak of pain
To speak of love
Is to lose yourself
The day it began
All turned paradox
And our greatest triumphs
Lived within tragedy

Chained in reality
Was always truth
In the invisible
In gravity and time
Quiet dominance in love
In power with faith
And truer still
The sorrow of being

We reconcile with life
And fear our end
When living is a drop
Into the sea that is death
A mere demonstration
Of the lifestreams
The hands of mother earth
And ancient of days

Lacrimae rerum
Oh we weep for consciousness
Our eyes forever clouded
By falsehoods of the mind
And how sad to run away
From our very souls
How we devour ourselves
Without grace

Soon time will fall
And faith will dissolve
Soon everything will be real
The end a beginning
And when we see the light
We will be the brightness
As when we find love
We will be the feeling

Bloodmoon (@Red_Sekhmet) Poem

Cerulean and sapphire merge ~ the horizon their endless seam ~ the sun is in a mood to splurge ~ as it casts down handfuls of gleam -- Bloodmoon (@Red_Sekhmet)

The Traveller (Song)

{09/12}
I once felt it
The length of your roots
Planted within me
Latching onto me
Lost words
Will have no meaning
To someone like me
Who has seen it all

Taste the wind with my finger Pointing to where I head
Placed on my heart
Is my treasured map
Float towards justice
And plot those feelings
Mirrored by the moon
Shining with indifference

As the canvas keeps moving
With or without you
Keep moving a brush
Leave a trace
Be the painter
Like me, a traveller
Life waits for noone
This journey is without end

Chorus:
Be your own
I was never here
See the world
Remove the mist from your eyes Forget I ever was
Passing through your life like smoke Sail on in the journey
You're a traveller through time

Mirrors & Gravity

A wall of chaos
Once descended
In a dreamer's guise
And as a dream
It was my reality
And my new curse
I basked in it's favor
And in delight

"Carry me to the edge
Let me fall
I will go upwards
And kill gravity
I have no desire
For what lies down there
I have no reason
To go back into darkness"

A glass stained wall
I saw it scream
That self-hating place
That mirror image
With a silent deathwish
That I never shared
It was just an image I said
It was not me

"Shatter me in the end
Be free of me
These colours you see
Are my mask my love
Gilded shadow and formless
Sent to ruin you
And confuse you
To change in time"

A portrait wall
Engineered to perfection
Façade of reality
And a true lie
Aesthetically in error
Bridging lies to shame
Weather of terror
Striking my name

"Drop me on a stage
Violent displays
Kaleidoscope of fact
To blur the lines the lies
We are not we
We never were
You are not me
You never will be"

Melancholia {22 April 2012}

'Melancholia, the star falling on my planet - destroy me. Reduce me to simplicity. But take not my sanity or dignity.'

Self - reflection. Before you allow yourself to sit down and really feel yourself leaving your own body, before you try to see yourself from another angle, you can never truly discover exactly how much it hurts being in your own body. Or so it was with me. I had never tried to understand myself. I knew I was different but I never questioned why.

When you have a mind like mine, you are fundamentally in your own wave-length. You actually have a different way to see right and wrong. Your world has fewer rules. The world is grey. There are numerous tragedies that happen on this earth. Are they bad? Is death a horrible thing?

Funny thing is humanity has known death as long as we have existed. And yet, we seem to be no closer to just reconciling ourselves that death is a part of life. We live in fear and so we do not live.

I am, however, not truly an exception when it comes to things that look at life in the wrong way. Because I stopped fearing death, I also began to destroy the thin line between lack-of-fear and recklessness. I found myself walking in a street with on-coming traffic one day. I saw them and yet I just moved right in there. There was nothing but death waiting for me. And yet I spared no beat of my heart. No skip. No reaction except a sigh and I never bothered to close my eyes and it’s only a few days later, when I left my own body in my then-rare forays outside of myself (hence able to see closer within), that I scolded myself. I did not die. I did not get injured. The cars did not reach me at all. But my lack-of-fear had turned into recklessness. I realized I was not, strictly speaking – suicidal. I was reckless, but why?

For me to find my answer I had to see deeper into myself and hence I had to see myself from a new angle. What I found startled me. I got so caught up accepting death, but in doing so, I forgot why I wanted to live. I forgot there are reasons I want to live.

It was a difficult thing to finally understand because I had changed. I was the sort of person who saw more because I looked for more. Sun motes can occupy my eyes for an hour. I see beauty in everything and marvel at nature’s in particular. People are too caught up in their ‘living’ that they do not fully appreciate where they stand. I had changed. Or I just forgot?
But how could I forget? Maybe it was love. The one thing I kept looking for that gave me a new wave of possibilities. Of new ideas. Of New possibilities. Of living more and bringing new life to the world. I believed in love. When it continually eluded me, I forgot why I needed it in the first place. But then I remembered. I remembered how beautiful each moment became after a while. How every touch was heaven. How you are consumed and yet you live for that destruction of self. I say destruction of self because you cease to see yourself as a single entity. The ultimate destruction. The true death. How sad and poetic that I have finally remembered that I want to live. Why I want to live. And that its because I want to find someone so I achieve true death.

Then I ask you. Do you see it now? See what happens when you leave your body. When you finally understand? When you ask questions and discover yourself in the process. Love led me here. I see now.

Power Conditions

I am writing this from a lift. Im on my way, like any other day, to work. I am late. I did not make time for breakfast either. All this is normal. Then, why is it that I feel different? Is it because of the african bead chain I decided to put on today? (I have never worn it to work) Or is it maybe the fact that I am not, (as I usually am) wearing my earphones in the lift. I tune out the world, it's my thing, especially in here. Or is it the last few days that have seen my life take a turn that have made me feel this way? The new girlfriend? The company? I think, its all these things. Let me walk you through it...

It is what the Statistic Scientists call a condition of power. It is basically a graph going up in performance or rather, in well-being. I am well. I am aware. I am awake. It is when everything seems to go your way, when persistance and will or hope gives you a reward. I have waited a long time to get here. To find myself doing well in my business, in my social life and in the face of numerous troubles. It feels good to feel good. And an important observation is that you need to work for it. You need to want it, to put all your focus and believe in your own ability. You need to let go and yet embrace. And soon enough, you will feel a change, you will feel the ultimate feeling as you head into the new and face impossible targets. You will feel it, this sense of purpose, this need to achieve and the belief that nothing is unassailable.

Thats the silver lining.

#prongslives

The Bridge, The Anchor

I feel the rise and fall
Ocean within
I feel the rush of fate
A river between
Our lips carving a way
Weeping at the distance
A fair sight away
From your hand to mine
And my dreams form an honest bridge
As I beg you to return
Each time we go
Up the moonlit stairway
And behind the stonelit waterfalls To land back on the ground
Fly as we might
Becoming my unreal
Anchor to reality
Just pull me down
Let me rest with you

From a Name to Individuals to Legacies by Clare Rudo

Huffington Post

Stones & Kings

Harmonious
The riff and the sigh
Wave after wave
Of pure feeling
The drug in the water
Is grey poison
The systematic loss
Of space and time
Is revelry
Poor reason
Abandoned today
Thrown away
With the clothes
In honesty we stand
Real flesh real strings
Sex on fire
Burning away at the numbness
With ghosts of laughter
The remains of sanity
Broken puppet strings
Unyeilding unmoving
Cherry in mouth
The red revenge
A temporary world
For the unhinged
The stones and kings
Of our day
Easy on the ears
Easy on the eyes
We sing into oblivion
As we sail to nirvana
Today
We sing to our souls
And leave mortals behind
Waiting for the night

Angus & Julia Stone, 'Hold On' Lyrics

And I'm waiting for the day
I know you've got your part
And I'm waiting for the day
I know you'll have the heart
And I'm hoping that you'll say
That you loved me all this time
But it turns out just the same
And you break apart the things I had
Hold on, what did you say that for?
Hold on, what did you say that for?
Hold on, what do you take me for?
Hold on, what did you say that for?
And I'm waiting for the day
Inside my mother's clothing store
And I'm waiting for the day
What am I waiting for?
Hold on, what did you say that for?
Hold on, what did you say that for?
Hold on, what do you take me for?
Hold on, what did you say that for?